movies!

i want to go to the movies tonight, but gosh, i can't choose between them because they ALL LOOK SO GOOD.

for instance, you've got "ghost of girlfriends past" in which matthew mcconaughey travels through his dating past, guided by ghosts, to learn a valuable lesson about himself. so it's like a christmas story, but with OUT THE CHRISTMAS. and instead of boring old dude scrooge, you've got matthew, who is truly the cat's meow these days.


then there's "17 again" where the GUY FROM FRIENDS gets MAGICALLY transformed into his 17-year-old self! and get this! when he was 17, he was ZAC FUCKIN' EFRON. dreamy! it's so weird. i've been alive 28 years and i cannot believe they haven't thought of a concept of a movie like this before. it just seems like someone would have thought of this by now. so original. man, i tell you what.. i wish I'D THOUGHT OF IT... because i'd be on a yacht somewhere in the ocean laughing about how many millions i've made.


then you've got "monsters vs. aliens". i can't properly judge this movie without knowing the superpower of each individual alien and monster. otherwise, i mean, it's a total crapshoot. but my gut tells me "monsters".

now, the one i'm REALLY excited about. "fast & furious". don't be confused. it's not "THE fast & THE furious". the cut that shit out to make it even faster. and more furious. now, anyone who knows me knows that i love racing cars. i love nascar and drag racing and i love vin diesel. more importantly, i love his chiseled abs. i'm definitely going to be in the FRONT ROW for this one. you can actually feel the heat when everything explodes, because inevitably, everything that isn't the car vin diesel is in will explode.



i especially like the poster, because the third guy is trying to look tough, but it totally comes across as "WHY THE FUCK AM I THIRD IN THIS GREY LINE OF FACES?! I HAVE BEEN CARRYING THIS FRANCHISE!" michelle rodriguez is holding up the back. her face just says "hey, i was on LOST!" vin diesel's face, of course, is just skeptical. he's not sure what to think of this new movie. and i don't blame him.

lastly, we have wolverine. i'm not going to make fun of wolverine because i'm actually going to go see this movie. it's probably going to be underwhelming, but i'm such a sucker for gigantic comic book movies.

i also like wolverine because, for the first time in weeks, "wolverine" is a higher trending topic on twitter than "swine flu". anything to knock "swine flu" down a peg is good in my book. its ego is getting out of control.

okay! have fun at the movies, y'all!