lost.

oh man, lost was so fucking good and so fucking confusing last night.

a lot of people are confused and complaining, but i have faith that the writers will make things right.

i loved it.

in other news, there is a band in NYC called "previously on lost" and they're performing a live recap of season four in its entirety at the knitting factory.

mari, if you don't go to this, i will punch you in the face.

MOVING WEEKEND!

please pardon my temporary lapse in positivity because I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT BULLSHIT!

it's MOVING WEEKEND!! AHHHHHH!!!

basically, mom and clayton are driving down from springfield on saturday, armed with the family minivan filled with my stuff. i've got a crew of friends who have volunteered to help out. it's going to be a little bit hectic, but as the only non-moving mover, i feel like i have to help make things as easy as possible.

that means NOT playing video games tonight - and packing all my shit up so that tomorrow my room is just a big pile of boxes, ready to be moved.

that also means finding a dunkin donuts tomorrow and laying out a sweet breakfast spread to make my moving crew happy and bright-eyed tomorrow morning.

once all my stuff is in, i'll take some pics of the newly-furnished loft. i know it's only a new apartment, but it feels like a fresh start. i'm so unbelievably stoked to start this new phase of my richmond life.

recovery blues

i feel like i'm hitting a snag.

here i am, 44 days from the accident. 30 days from the second (and last) surgery. for the most random of reasons, my life got derailed and slowly put together one piece at a time. i'm not back to normal, but i'm almost there.

i spent most of the recovery time blessed with a sense of peace and a calm about what i was going through. i don't think it took anything special on my part.. i just didn't see the point of being overly upset about something i had no control over. at the same time, it was also easy to deal with the recovery when in the back of my head, i knew how much worse everything could have been. every time i got frustrated that i was in pain or couldn't function normally, i was simultaneously thankful to not be in a coma.

so now i'm back at work. i can hang out with my friends occasionally. i have more energy. i'm so close to the end of this whole mess, i can taste it.

which makes it all the more frustrating.

i just got word a few days ago that my scheduled day to get ALL the hardware removed is june 27th. and on the one hand, while i'm so excited to have a date, knowing i have another four weeks of eating difficulty, talking difficulty, and being forced into this hibernated state so that i don't backslide.. it's starting to wear on me.

in addition to all this, i feel like my face is taking forever to heal. i've had multiple people tell me my face looks fine, and i know it's all minor shit.. but anyone who's looked at themselves in the mirror and seen a blemish that looks 100 times bigger to themselves than anyone else has to know what i'm going through. the scar where my lip split isn't healing well and i feel like i've got a permanent snarl. and i feel like i have permanent black eyes and i look like emperor palpatine.



i realize i'm being vain here. and i also realize i could have looked a whole hell of a lot worse if it wasn't for the work of the amazing doctors who put my face back together. and i know that this should all heal up eventually and someday in the near future i'll hopefully look just like i did before all this. it's just another aspect of the slow healing process that i'm dealing with.

anyway, the best way to describe this whole process is that it's like running in a race after not having run for a while. at first you are shocked by the strain on your body, but your adrenaline and determination kicks in and you find a way to get over that initial fatigue. after a little while, you hit that spot where you are able to keep fatigue at bay and find your rhythm. eventually, and usually as you get closer to the finish line, no matter how you try, that fatigue comes back.. and you've gotta be able to overcome it and make that final push to the finish line.

that's where i am right now.

and i know i'll make it to the finish line, i've just gotta keep my eyes locked on that date four weeks from now and stick with my program and get better.

lastly, i hope this entry doesn't come across as a plea for sympathy or anything. i really don't want a bunch of comments saying "oh this will all work out in the end" because i know it will. i guess i'm just reserving the right to bitch about it once or twice. i wrote this as a way of venting some personal shit that i don't really like to talk about with friends. i also wrote it in the interest of "real talk" about what this whole process has been like. this is one of the negative sides. it's just part of the overall reality of this whole situation.

i'll be fine. in fact, i feel better already.

friends... in the mail?

one of my vastly important responsibilities here at my office is to sort the mail.

it's a humbling assignment, to say the least.

well, today, i was surprised to find my friend KC in the mail.



i guess she's been doing some modeling, and the photographer is promoting his photography skills, and that's why a postcard arrives at the marketing agency addressed to my boss. however, i might just keep it here at my desk.

i could start a wall of promotional materials featuring my friends. it might take a while to fill up a wall, so you guys really need to get busy. just mail whatever you have to my work, attention: phil.

summertime.

summer seems to be upon us. for those who panicked at my lack of daytime friends in my last entry, have no fear. i managed to find some daytime friends to join me down at the river and at a few cookouts. my weekend definitely ended on a fantastic note with beautiful weather, good friends, and lots of time spent outdoors.

i'm back at work now, and summer seems to be unsure of itself again. i'm fine with that. as long as i'm indoors at work, the weather can do what it wants.

there was a lot of running around this weekend, between various trips to the new apartment, seeing friends, and various errands involving semi-solid food experimentation. these trips would not have been possible without my summer jam record of the week.



hot chip - made in the dark

i'm totally stoked on this record. it's quirky electronic dancy pop music made by nerdy british dudes. most of it is upbeat, but they also throw in a sweet piano ballad, and even a song about professional wrestling. it's a perfect record to listen to while driving to wherever it is you plan to end up for the evening... with the windows rolled down and the warm nighttime summer air hitting your face.

i should note that there is a slight risk involved. i got a speeding ticket while doing this just the other night, so it might not work out as well as you hope.

more summertime music coming soon!

i have also been listening a lot to:
kathleen edwards - asking for flowers
death cab for cutie - narrow stairs

but, sadly, these are definitely winter albums. i gotta put them into retirement soon.

a serious lack of daytime friends

i need more daytime friends.

today is the most gorgeous saturday i can remember.

this is the kind of day you call up friends to go chill on a front porch, go to maymont or byrd park, or the good ol' james river. so far i haven't done any of those things and i've been operating on a solo mission since i woke up this morning.

i got up early-ish, rolled over to henry to see if they had anything good for their memorial day sale. i feel like the people that work there must hate me. i go in there, look at literally every shirt, remember that i am terrified of bold fashion choices, and i walk out without buying anything. i do this once a month. i did buy one shirt a while back, but it's a terrible track record, considering how many times i've been there.

the whole thing has inspired me to create a boutique clothing store of my own. maybe i'll call it "safe". and it will just have non-terrifying fashion choices, shirts that look flattering on slightly bigger dudes, little tags on all the t-shirts that explain any obscure references, and of course, racks upon racks of tasteful looking cowboy snap shirts.

after that i went to smoothie king and tried a new fruit flavor - blueberry. not good. too bland.

i sat outside smoothie king for about an hour, reading an RVA magazine i picked up earlier.

after that i went to ellwood thompsons to look for some pre-made fresh delicious food for people with jaws wired shut. i picked up some cous cous, some curry rice, and some noodle dish that i'll need to chop up, but will probably taste awesome considering i have so few food option these days.

that's it. that's my solo mission.

now i'm sitting here, waiting for one of my many various text messages to be responded to, and hopefully find some people that are trying to relax on a picnic blanket or a park bench somewhere and read a book.

any takers?

happy birthday BRANDI!

today is brandi's birthday.

she hasn't released as many albums as morrissey, and i don't know how she'd look in a pompadour, but i will tell you the following important pieces of information:

1) she's smokin' hot
2) she's one of my favorite people in richmond
3) she's a classy lady

her birthday banger is tomorrow night, where i plan on dancing so hard that my face re-breaks.

believe it!

happy birthday morrissey!

mighty muggs.

has anyone ever heard of mighty muggs?


the vinyl-toy-figurines-as-art trend has been around for a while, but these little dudes totally appeal to my inner geek. they made these trendy little vinyl figurines out of marvel superheroes, indiana jones, and of course, star wars.

i can't get over how cool these little star wars ones are.

my two favorites? smiling lando calrissian and post-yeti-battle-scarred luke skywalker. brilliant.

so stoked.

did i mention that my new loft has a private rooftop deck with an amazing view of richmond? no big deal.

an accident victim reflects on returning to full-time employment

being back to work after my insane month of injuries, surgeries, and other -ries.. is decidedly weird.

i wrestled a lot with whether i felt up to the challenge of going back to work full-time. on one hand, i was bored to tears living at my parent's house watching movies and reading books. on the other hand, i was still only two and a half weeks away from a pretty intense surgical procedure. i was still suffering from fatigue and some pain.

in the end, i think i made the right call. i'm two days into employment, and there have been no disasters, no onsets of exhaustion or pain, and i'm feeling pretty happy. my job, believe it or not, can be a lot of fun. and so given the option to spend 8 hours a day getting paid to do work that is interesting and enjoyable, or spend 8 hours not getting paid to be mostly bored, i'll choose work.

until i arrived at work on monday morning, it wasn't exactly clear what i'd be doing when i got back here. right when the accident occurred, i was beginning a planned transition back to account work. this was the plan all along and everything was right on time. the accident, however, derailed those plans.. and so i'm still up here doing admin work at the front desk. i had let it be known that i was hoping to start immediately on account work upon my return and leave the admin work behind, but it appears that is not in the cards at the moment. while that's a slight bummer, i'm starting to think maybe a slow transition is the best. account work is insane even when it's slow. and i don't know if i'm ready for insane. i am feeling pretty good about the level of work i'm being given now, so maybe a few weeks of this while i'm recovering is what's best for my health and my sanity.

of course, come june 1st when my security deposit and first month's rent are due at my new apartment, i might be singing a different tune.

but to be honest, i can't worry about that shit right now. i've gotta put my health and my recovery first and let everything else sort itself out. and it will.

when your jaw is wired shut, it's all about the little things.

so i have made two crucial food discoveries today.

i went to kroger on my lunch break, hoping to find something.. ANYTHING exciting that wasn't a bland semi-liquid shake-type food.

i went to the cracker aisle and found that they make BABY GOLDFISH! these little delicious cheddar fish-shaped snacks are now made in a tiny size for infants. fortunately, it's the perfect size to shove between my teeth. and my god, after eating boring shit for a month, eating something cheddar flavored is like a gift from god.


the other discovery i made was REESE'S PIECES! i love reese's pieces, but for some reason forgot that those things melt almost instantly when they're in your mouth, hence making them edible for me. lord knows, swallowing reese's pieces whole and unmelted would not be much fun.


so basically, i'm snacking like crazy, loving it, and hopefully making a small dent in my free-falling weight loss program.

if that doesn't work, there's always more ice cream.

it's loft time!

so last year for halloween, i went to this amazing party in this loft apartment above 1708 gallery. it was dave and kristen's place and i'd never been there before. i walked inside and was totally amazed. it was my dream apartment. huge street-facing windows, tons of open space, and it was extremely well-renovated with granite countertops and cool lighting. i remember saying to myself and others, "i have to live here."

fast forward to this spring.. i had been scoping out loft-style apartments for weeks on craigslist and had no luck finding that perfect one. i was trying to find something similar to what i loved about dave and kristen's place. i wanted something that was above an art gallery or business, not in a giant loft farm (i.e. todd lofts or a lot of the stuff in the manchester district) and it obviously couldn't be ridiculously expensive (hello downtown!). after i'd pretty much given up and was thinking about good ol' fan rowhouse living.. i found it. there was a listing on craigslist and it was pretty vague, but it looked very similar to dave and kristen's place. i thought, "CAN IT BE?!"

it turns out the apartment i'd found was one floor up from dave and kristen's place. it was even more huge, had the same giant windows, two stories, three bedrooms, and had access to a killer rooftop deck. i was in love.

on the night of my accident, i had plans to go tour the apartment the next day. obviously that didn't happen. but even from my hospital bed, i was hellbent on making this apartment happen. fortunately for me, i had talked to my good friend kenny about moving in with me and he was all about it. while i was on the mend at the hospital, he toured the apartment, got the ball rolling, and then a few weeks later, i did my own tour. this place was even more awesome than i originally thought.

we filled out the applications right then and there, and the next day got a call from the landlord saying we're in.

i managed to convince my other amazing friend, bill chubb, to move back to richmond from boston and be our third awesome roommate.

the house was complete! three grown dudes, with real-life jobs, living in a really awesome apartment. the potential behind it actually scares me. all my previous living experiences dealt with living as cheaply as possible with less mature people not being able to clean up after themselves or have real jobs or normal schedules. this is a serious upgrade.

anyway, we move in june 1st. i'm way stoked. and of course, we'll have you all over for an amazing housewarming party as soon as we get settled in.

animated gifs = comedy gold

i spend a decent amount of time on various messageboards. usually having to do with independent music or internet nerdery. my favorite thing are the weird inside jokes that develop over time and the various animated gifs that make their way across the internet and land, usually, in people's signatures or in various posts.

i gotta remember to post these every once in a while, because while short, some of them are funnier than any youtube video:



maybe it's not animated gifs. maybe it's just captain picard that is comedy gold.

turns out i'm an idiot

so they didn't take off my wires today.

they DID unclench my jaw, by removing a bunch of rubber bands that were holding my teeth together. but i still have wires around my teeth, and one rubberband on each side of my mouth to keep my bite aligned.

it wasn't quite the huge event i had predicted. my jaw now opens about 2cm instead of being clenched shut. it's just small enough to fit a small straw through, but not a spoon. kinda anti-climactic huh?

but here's the good news:

- eating is definitely easier. and i have a few more options than soup broth and protein shakes, so that's good.

- i can talk a lot better. still sound kinda weird, but at least it's not talking through clenched teeth.

- i have less pain. the clenched jaw was causing me headaches and weirdly enough, pain in my eardrum from all the pressure put on my jaw.

so, being the eternal optimist, this is good news. but i found out i have 3-4 weeks until everything comes out. bummer, right?

just some advice: don't ever break all the bones in your face. the novelty of the whole thing wears off in about two weeks. after that you kinda want to punch everyone who can eat regular food.

so that's the update. i'm an idiot. still sipping my meals through a straw.

love,

phil


OH! AS PROMISED, PHIL SINGING KARAOKE "THROUGH THE WIRES" STYLE:

(we sang "working for the weekend" by loverboy. clayton sang with me, as we weren't sure if the microphone would even pick up my vocals through my wired teeth. but don't worry.. we kicked ass.)

the walk of NO shame

i got a huge kick out of this commercial.

thank you

thanks awesome friends!

i had picked out the black D&G's as my favorite pair of glasses, but i thought i would turn to the power of the blog to get everyone's opinions. turns out my friends and i share good taste in glasses. i'm going out tomorrow to go to lenscrafters and make shit happen.

i think i've been pushing myself a little hard the past few days. this morning when i woke up, i had a really hard time getting energy. i went to my eye doctor apppointment, came home, and crashed out hard. i have barely left the bed all day. i feel like a complete waste.

i'm just realizing it's impossible for me to get enough protein and calories in a day. i'm dropping lbs. like crazy. i haven't weighed myself in two days, but it would not surprise me at all if i was at 195. that's 30 lbs. so far. insane. i weighed this much in high school.

starting wednesday, when the wires come off, i've gotta make sure i'm eating plenty so i can stop my weight from free-falling. i have no energy and i'm really dragging. losing weight is awesome and all, but losing it this fast is so unhealthy.

anyway, i'm going back to bed. lame, i know. but stay tuned for photos of my "through the wires" karaoke performance on saturday night. once you see the pictures, it might explain what i meant earlier by "pushing myself a little hard the past few days".

help me make important fashion decisions

so, due to my "incident" i have been rocking my glasses a lot more often, and my current glasses are 8 years old. the prescription is way old and so are the frames. it's time for an upgrade. i went to lenscrafters and tried a few on, but i need some help from all y'all to decide which ones to buy. time is of the essence, so chime in! leave a comment.. named or anonymous. advise me here.

and please pardon my beat up face in all the photos. not much i can do about that. but the one positive note is that you can see my beard is starting to grow back in. thank god.

FIRST PAIR: DOLCE & GABBANA - BLACK



SECOND PAIR: RAY BAN



THIRD PAIR: E. ZEGNA



FOURTH PAIR: DOLCE & GABBANA - BROWN




that's it. if they all look bad, you can tell me that too. honest to blog.

blog awards

as everyone in america knows, may is the month where we here on the staff of "Phil Has A Blog" like to take some time off and congratulate other bloggers that deserve congratulating.

mari de monte, our friend from the mean streets of brooklyn, has been killing it on her blog lately. from her witty commentary on her job as a fabulous stylist assistant to the stars to her running "mug of the day" feature, she's bringing the entire internet to it's knees.

CONGRATULATIONS MARI!

Re-connecting

so i just got home from richmond. i had a blast seeing friends and watching movies with jenny and playing grand theft auto 4. i was as busy as you could be for a person who has to lay low all the time. sadly, GTA4 gives me headaches for some reason, but hopefully that goes away the next time i get a chance to play.

i got some GREAT news today from the surgeon at my follow-up appointment. they're going to take the wires off my jaw next WEDNESDAY. WAY sooner than i ever expected. i'm still limited to soft/liquid foods for at least another month, but to be able to actually talk normally and eat more than just milkshakes... THANK GOD. it was the best news i could have ever received.

when i got home from my richmond vacation, i had a blog comment from a total blast from the past. back when i was in junior high in utah, i had this crew of best friends. it was a co-ed group of maybe like 10 kids and we hung out NON-STOP. it was me and my buddies in my band in 9th grade (yes i was in a band back then.. we played pearl jam covers) and the various girls we hung out with. and i don't mean to blow my own horn here, but these girls were the hottest girls that went to my school. i don't know HOW i managed to hang out with a group of hot girls in junior high every weekend (i was totally unprepared), but it was pretty amazing. our group was totally inseperable and i pretty much had crushes on all of the girls at different times. fate intervened later when i moved back to virginia and had a year of being awkward and not knowing anyone before i talked to any more cute girls. you can see a few of the cute girls in the picture, and please note that i wore hawaiian shirts back then. i have no excuses.

anyway, the girl who hit me up was AMY (on the left in the picture). and she was this amazingly awesome girl. totally sarcastic, great sense of humor, and a really amazing friend. amy and i dated for approximately two months one summer i think. i asked her out while we were both on a ride at the local amusement park. we had season passes. i'm pretty sure we held hands non-stop and the one thing i distinctly remember is that i never got the guts to kiss her. not once. how ridiculous is that? i was definitely at that awkward stage where a girl had to force me into kissing them for me to get the point. what can i say? i was shy.

anyway, we lost touch over the years, but now she's married, has an amazingly cute son named sebastian, has traveled the world, and seems to have a pretty awesome life going for her.

it's awesome to check in on the lives of really old friends to find that for the most part, everyone is living awesome and fulfilling lives, doing what they love, and seem genuinely happy. it makes life seem a little less scary sometimes. if 10 random friends from junior high can all end up happy, despite choosing completely different paths and destinations in life, maybe being happy isn't all that hard. i know it hasn't been for me. even with a jaw wired shut and a growing hatred for milkshakes, life really isn't all that bad. i have amazing friends, a great job, and, thank god, health insurance.

good times.

Pool chillin.

My new apartment has a rooftop deck and I have ideas.

Richmond-bound.

i'm going to richmond tomorrow for a few follow-up appointments. i'll be in town till thursday afternoon and staying with jenny, so if you'd like to pop over and visit or something, just holler at me. text is the best method, since talking is a bit difficult with the jaw wired shut.

we leave pretty early tomorrow and i just downloaded the new death cab for cutie record. so i'll get to give that a listen on the ride down. very exciting.

i'm also excited about:
- crucial girlfriend time
- smoothie king
- going to see my girl aimee for a much-needed haircut
- seeing friends
- watching so much carnivale
- stopping by the new apartment

i'm not excited about:
- hearing any potential bad news from my various surgeons
- having difficulty keeping my energy up
- my insane medication schedule and subjecting jenny to it
- my intense food cravings i've been having
- my friends seeing me without a beard

what happens in vegas stays at taco bell

so there's this new god-awful looking movie starring cameron diaz and a constipated-looking ashton kutcher called "what happens in vegas". if you've been stuck at home watching hours of TV like i have, you've probably seen a commercial for this. or maybe you saw it while it was plastered all over your myspace login screen.



immediately something bothered me about the TV and internet ads for this movie, but i couldn't put my finger on it. it was driving me crazy. then i realized it. it was the FONT. this isn't something i like to advertise to my friends, but i am a huge font nerd. i think the right font can make or break your poster/flyer/ad etc. sometimes i will spend hours downloading fonts onto my computer. it's weird, i know.

anyway, does the font look familiar?!

it should because they totally jacked it from taco bell. it's the font they've been using for years!



that is one serious font fuck-up.

it's fun to do bad things.

this video kills me:



also - even though i probably wasn't ready to leave the house yet, my dad and i went to the movies to go see iron man today and it was fucking awesome. it totally fucked up my pain meds schedule and i'm hurting now, but it was worth it to escape the house for a few hours.

recovery update blog

i'll try to keep this one short and sweet.

round two of surgery was on tuesday. once they got in there, they decided to start over from scratch in order to get my jaw lined up correctly. so they re-opened both my incisions and re-did all the plates and pins. in addition, as was discussed, they wired my jaw shut. this definitely was a lot more trauma on my face than i was expecting, and the whole thing took about six hours to complete. i spent tuesday night in the hospital.

wednesday i was allowed to go home. we had some difficulty regulating my pain medications once we got home and staying "ahead of the pain", so i had some pretty rough stretches on wednesday and thursday. we maybe left the hospital a day earlier than we should have, but at the same time, i could barely sleep in that place and i was miserable there.

once we were home, we also had a struggle with medications. as you know, my jaw is wired shut, so anything i take has to be ground up and put in something, or in liquid form. as we had guessed, most of the meds they've prescribed taste like pure terror when in liquid form. considering i have to take 4-5 different meds, we were having a really hard time with nausea. if you've ever met anyone who has had their jaw wired shut, you have to carry scissors around with you everywhere just in case you have to throw up. you have to cut your wires so you don't choke on your own vomit. so nausea becomes something you must absolutely avoid at all costs.

so we finally got our medications kinda figured out to a point where i'm not nauseous anymore. we found that we could grind a few up in a protein shake and the taste wasn't too terrible. we also were able to get the pain under control and we're back on a working meds schedule and i'm feeling much better.

the swelling goes down every day and we're just kinda taking it day by day knowing that the worst of it is now behind us. i'm trying trying trying to stay positive.

no word yet on how long the jaw stays shut. could be two weeks (amazing!) but it will probably be more like four (decent!) or six (nooo!). i have follow-up appointments last week.

that's about it. i knew there were a lot of people who were wondering how the second round of surgery went. it's been probably the toughest three days so far, but we're on the other side of it and it's going to get better!

thanks again for all the love and support. and to my richmond friends who are going out to that huge dance party tonight - dance a little extra hard for me.

love,
phil