the cutest stampede ever.

LOOK OUT! IT'S A PUPPY STAMPEDE!!

dispatches from the beach, vol. 3

maybe you're at the beach right now reading this blog. or maybe you're going on a beach vacation this summer. i've decided to include some tips here in my blog for people.

how do you let go of the stresses of modern life at the beach? what are some great ways to relax? let me show you some options.

phil's tips for relaxing at the beach:

1. go try to buy a hat, only to come to the conclusion you've known all along: your head is so fucking big that no hat will ever fit it and you're just going to have to deal with sun in your eyes at the beach for the rest of your life. kill yourself.


2. take a drive. count the people with horrific sunburns.

3. read vice magazine. try to hide the scandalous american apparel ad on the back from the view of your relatives.


4. look for civil war historical markers. (i actually found one!)


5. take a nap in your new kitchen bed!


6. get drunk as shit off raspberry-flavored vodka.. because sometimes that's just how you roll.

dispatches from the beach, vol. 2

the drive to the beach today was largely uneventful. i managed to get myself slightly off course only twice. i've decided that google maps doesn't want people to get to the outer banks. can you blame them? in google HQ, there is some guy who is sick to death of douchebags driving SUVs around the east coast with their blazing OBX stickers. he wisely makes it difficult to find the way to your beach cottage.

i had one of my first celebratory post-wired jaw meals today. ever since the accident, i had been craving one of earth's most delicious fast food meals - the spicy chicken sandwich at wendy's. divine.

i had a mild amount of difficulty eating the sandwich, as my jaw isn't opening too wide yet.. but i got it down and i was so completely satisfied. what a perfect sandwich. thank you, dave thomas.

i was thinking while i was eating my sandwich. here i was at this wendy's on the road to the beach and just about everyone in the restaurant was going to the beach. i started thinking - i bet it must be nice working at this wendy's because all your customers are in a good mood, everyone's relaxed and excited about going to the beach. and then i realized very quickly that assholes don't go on vacation and it doesn't matter if they're going to the beach or not. working fast food, even on the road to the beach, still probably sucks ass.

i made sure to be extra nice to help lend some weight to my original theory.

dispatches from the beach, vol. 1

so today i left the comfy quality inn in williamsburg and hit the mighty road in search of the beach. i had a four-hour drive ahead of me, full of produce stands, weird billboards, and slow drivers. i arrived here at the beach house at 2:00. i was not properly prepared mentally for my arrival.

first, i should probably explain my situation. every year my family gets a big oceanfront beach house and then proceeds to cram it full of my entire extended family. aunts, uncles, grandma, cousins. there are like 30 people here. i've only been once before and i came with lauren back when we were dating and we had a little room off to ourselves.

this year, i was told i could come for free. i was stoked to hear the news. i wasn't expecting a bedroom of my own, but there were odd little rooms that you could fit an air mattress into last time, so i figured i'd be fine. however, this new house we're in.. there is literally no space. the first thing i was told when i arrived is that i will be sleeping in the kitchen. yes, that's right. the kitchen. the plan is that when i'm ready for bed, i will blow up my air mattress, put it in the kitchen, and then of course, i'll need to be awake by 6:30 when my mom arrives to cook breakfast. and did i mention we're here for a WEEK?!

normally, i'd say this is all fine and good and when i need alone time, i will just go to the beach, plug in my headphones and find my happy place with my spirit animal. however, with my recent surgeries, i have to be very careful about being outside in the sun and scarring. i've found that since my accident, my staying power out in the sun is a little bit limited.

maybe i should have thought this vacation through a little more, right?

i'm going to take deep breaths, find peace through blogging, smile when my relatives make a joke about riding bikes, and get drunk every single night until i don't mind sleeping in the kitchen.

wish me luck, blog.

hello from the quality inn

yes, yes. hello all blog readers.

i am blogging to you live from the quality inn in williamsburg, va.

get stoked! i know i am!

seriously, i had no reason to get here to the hotel this early. but i just love chilling in hotel rooms. when we were on tour, hotels were synonymous with good times. either the show had gone so well we were treating ourselves or we were in the middle of nowhere without a place to stay. usually it was the latter, but we always made a good time out of it. you could just relax, chill, drink beers, watch tv, and hang out with your dudes.

staying in a hotel room always feels like an adventure. at 28, you'd think i'd be over the novelty of staying in a hotel, but i suppose not!

i'm here in williamsburg for the wedding of two awesome friends, robin and jess. robin played in a band called races to april. long ago, races to april and my old band were the best of friends. we played shows together whenever we could and during my year of living in harrisonburg, many nights were spent drinking together and singing songs at the top of our lungs. i have some really great memories of that time of my life and this will be a reunion of sorts. i'm excited to see all my good friends, laugh about old times, and celebrate the big day for robin and jess.

i'll also be DJing which i'm really excited about. with all the stress of the accident and the recovery, i'm excited to cut loose a little tonight, have some fun, and play some awesome tunes.

tomorrow, i head to the beach for a whole week. my extended family always rents out a big beach house for a week in the summer. it's crazy, it's crowded, but it's also a lot of fun. i only went once in the past six years because i was always consistently touring and unable to attend. this year i was really excited to go and relax, especially after everything that happened to me over the past two months. i'm a bit nervous being away from work for a week, but i'm sure i'll manage just fine.

so you may not hear from me for a little bit. i'll be soaking up the sun and relaxing. however, don't be surprised if i sneak out a blog post or two. staying with my family for more than three days will probably generate some pretty amazing blog stories. so get stoked for that.

i wrote a poem

i've been spending a lot of time writing in my journal. just putting down a lot of my thoughts and feelings. i find that a lot of times, it's easier for me to express myself through poetry. sometimes prose doesn't do a feeling justice and the only way to properly express it is through a poem.

that said, i'd like to share a poem i wrote. i am really really nervous about sharing this on my blog, because it's of a personal nature, but hopefully people are receptive to it and i can keep posting more poetry in the future.

boots with the fur

i ain't never seen nuthin that'll make me go,
this crazy all night spendin my dough
had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go
dem birthday cakes, they stole the show
so sexual, she was flexible
professional, drinkin X and ooo
hold up wait a minute, do I see what I think I
whoa
did I think I seen shorty get low
ain't the same when it's up that close
make it rain, I'm makin it snow
work the pole, I got the bank roll
imma say that I prefer them no clothes
I'm into that, I love women exposed
she threw it back at me, I gave her more
cash ain't a problem, I know where it goes

she had them...

apple bottom jeans (jeans)
boots with the fur (with the fur)
the whole club was lookin at her
she hit the flo (she hit the flo!)
next thing you know
shawty got low low low low low low low low
low low low low low low low low low low low
low low low low low low low low low low

the end.

sigur ros

in case you were wondering, the new sigur ros album is fucking amazing.

it's called Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust which translates to "with a buzz in our ears we play endlessly".

i've been a long time fan of sigur ros, having first heard them back during my days working for their record label. when i first heard the band, i was amazed. i have been a fan ever since. back in 2003, when i was working at the label, i got a chance to see them at this really amazing show in DC in this old theatre on U St. now, at the time, i was listening to sigur ros exclusively as i fell asleep every night. it was the perfect music for it. the night before, i had stayed out really late with some girl i was crazy about at the time.. we're talking 4:00am. i had to get up to be at work at 7:00. it's crazy how we used to torture ourselves like that in the name of romance. at 28, i think getting that little sleep would probably kill me. anyway, the concert was early.. i had to leave straight from work. i didn't have anyone to go with me, so i arrived at the concert alone and found a seat near the middle of the room. the concert is amazing. the band's music sounded so great in this room, and the light show was really tasteful and complimented the music really well.

if you can see where this is headed, you won't be surprised when i tell you that about an hour into the show, i fell asleep in my seat. completely fucking asleep. i woke up at some point during the encore and was beating myself up about it for weeks.

anyway, i kinda let sigur ros fall off my radar for a little while, until i heard about heima. heima was this amazing documentary film that they shot of this tour that sigur ros did in their home country of iceland. it's one of my favorite music documentaries i've ever seen and pretty much is solely responsible for motivating me to travel to iceland next year. the shots of the countryside there are so beautiful and i can't wait to see it in person. the music itself is just as amazing. they re-worked a lot of their songs to be played acoustically and tried new things live and it translated really really well.

so anyway, with this new record, sigur ros kept going in the experimental footsteps they took with heima. old sigur ros was big and echo-y in their beauty.. this new sigur ros is really small and intimate. they trade in reverby guitars for acoustic ones. it's a really nice change. there's still that trademark sound in there for people who want it, but i'm all for the newer more intimate stuff. i've got my heart set on seeing them play it live sometime soon, but they never quite bring the tour close enough to virginia.

i guess i'll have to see them in iceland then! right? RIGHT!

THE PERFECT HIGH-FIVE

you can't get awesome without being able to throw the perfect high-five. don't even try it. from the nice folks at wired.com, here are some tips:

1. Always initiate. He who launches the high-five owns the high-five. Engage your upper-arm muscles, keep your wrist firm, and propel your hand like the meteor of awesome it is. (Maintain altitude and an open hand — this ain't no fist bump.) Your high-five can only surrender.

2. Don't look at the hand. That looming palm is a moving, unpredictable target. Instead, keep your eye on the elbow; that'll automatically line up your mitts.

3. Cup your palm. As you reach the high point of the arc, make your hand slightly concave to create that satisfying thunderclap.

NOW GET AWESOME!!!

work insanity

so it's day two on the new job. already i am slightly tearing my hair out.

here's the thing to remember: i'll complain about being busy and stressed, but deep down, i love this job even when it's killing me.

while i am glad not to be a victim of this latest round of layoffs, i am certainly feeling the repercussions. a giant reorganization is taking place, and a big part of my daily role is changing to something i'm totally unfamiliar with and, i'll be honest, totally scared of.

as is typical with my agency, training is vague and complicated and short, and they were ready for you to start doing the new job yesterday. i've already gotten a few requests from eager superiors trying to get me to help them with this new stuff, and i literally have to stop them and say "okay, yeah.. i'm not done being trained yet. i have no idea how to do what you're asking for." scary, right?

but it's sink or swim here.. and i'm determined to swim. so i'm shouting from the rooftops for help and it seems to be working. i've set up calls with people who know what they're doing, so they can walk me through these exercises and get me up to speed. i WILL figure this shit out.

on top of all this, all these random jobs are coming out of the woodwork and i don't want to turn them down, but i am already feeling overwhelmed.

to add to the stress and make it an official "stress trifecta", there are three people who share my job role on my team, and we all split the workload. we're all getting trained on this new job role and we're all equally overwhelmed. well, yesterday i just got word that one of us three just resigned to go work elsewhere.. which means... MORE WORK FOR ME! that's right, we're not hiring someone to replace him, just spreading the work around.

i'm bracing for insanity. i'm bracing for long nights.

but i'm also stoked to get back in the action.

ask me if i'm still stoked in a week though, and i'll probably give you a death stare as i pour myself another shot of whiskey.

Weighing my options!

you do not fuck with bike kids.

so last night we got a few beers at cous cous. my buddy brett was bartending and he's new at it, so it's fun to go and show support.

brett is an awesome dude. he sings for the band the riot before and is the proud owner of a new shiny flashy track bike. brett is in a band and doesn't make a lot of money, so this was a big investment for him and if you saw how awesome he looks riding it, you would say "nice investment, brett!" anyway, the first thing we talked about when he got his new bike was how he was a shoe-in for some craigslist missed connections.

well, sadly, he was in store for a little more than a missed connection.

as i said, last night, we were at cous cous, and brett's bike was locked up outside. however, at around 11:00, someone near the window shouts that someone is trying to steal a bike outside. some college dude in mesh shorts is outside with a wrench trying to steal brett's rims. HIS RIMS, MY GOD! WHO DOES THAT? anyway, he's out there with this wrench going to town and someone notices.

now, when i say richmond is a bike town, i mean it. people here LOVE their bikes. so when i tell you this next bit, you should not be surprised at all:

the bar completely emptied out. a giant mob of people go running outside to defend the bike and chase down the thief. the dude sees the mob and starts (appropriately) running like hell. sadly, due to years of alcohol consumption, none of the cous cous bar crowd are qualified distance runners, so no one can keep up.

except for one man: freddy clark.

now, i don't know how it all went down, but the basic gist is that freddy caught up to this dude. he tripped him up, and then they tumbled to the ground. freddy apparently got some kicks and punches in, and the dude ripped freddy's shirt collar. the dude then took off running again. so freddy comes back in to the bar about 10 minutes later, panting, and sporting his new fashion choice, feeling satisfied that bike theft justice had been achieved.

a bunch of dudes, including myself, bought freddy a beer for his valiant efforts.

bike thieves of richmond, beware. there's a new defender of justice in town.

steve jobs is out to get me.

so, after my mac freakout, i had a few conversations with a few good mac-using friends and they talked me down off the ledge. in fact, i spent the better part of this weekend, knee deep in my itunes library, re-organizing and dumping things in from my ipod and from my previous computer's hard drive. when i say it was not easy, please believe me. i had to re-tag just about everything and make sure everything was correct and organized.

rather than get annoyed, i reached this zen-like state, where i actually found this strange comfort in cataloging all my music.

i still have a lot to learn, but i felt like giving in to apple's way of organizing my life musically was a good place to start.

then things took a dramatic turn.

yesterday, as i was tagging itunes stuff, i noticed something strange. my screen was getting whiter. that's right, WHITER. not brighter.

i noticed that my screen was slowly getting washed out and light greyer by the minute. i panicked, turned my screen off and then turned it back on and it was back to normal. then slowly, the grey started creeping back after about 5-10 minutes.

i was thinking exactly what you are thinking - WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!

i called my new pals at applecare to tell them about my problem and they were thoroughly confused by it. we tried 4-5 different things and the final consensus was "GIVE UP" and i guess i'm now due a new imac.

i took my new dead friend to the short pump apple store. upon further discussion, i discovered that it would take them 72 hours to remove the data off the old computer and put it onto a new computer. i said, "heyo folks! that's a long time! why don't *I* do it?" so i lugged my imac back to my car and home again. you see, i have this external hard drive that i was using on my PC and i figured i could give that "time machine" application a try.

i had all my mp3s on this external hard drive, so i had to get my ass in gear and finish all my transferring/cataloging business in itunes. once i did that, i started running time machine and everything seems to be going smoothly.

tomorrow i'll take my imac back (again) to the store. while i'm there, i'll order up my NEW imac, and then use time machine to load all my goodies on the new computer.

this whole thing has been quite the ridiculous ordeal. what are the odds of two computers having major malfunctions in the course of a week.. and a NEW imac at that!? anyway, i'm trying not to let this whole episode discourage me. in order to justify this ridiculousness, i am going to upgrade my hard drive on the new imac to 500gb and get myself a different keyboard that i like more. if i have to go through all this shit, might as well get EXACTLY what i want!

mac experience: week one. off to a bad start. but i am not giving up.

end of an era

so today is my last day as the front desk receptionist at the agency.

when i was hired back, it was under the assumption that i would return to account work in short order, once the right opening became available. finally, after four months and a one-month bike accident vacation, i'm making that transition on monday.

barring any unforeseen circumstances, this will hopefully be my last day as a receptionist ever again. after years of temping during college and while being in bands, i can honestly say i've been a receptionist for at least 20-30 companies in the last 10 years. insane.

i'm stoked for the new challenges. this position is definitely going to kick my ass for a while until i get the hang of it, but i'm really excited to get back to the work that i was brought on to do.

things i will miss about being a receptionist:

- knowing all the behind-the-scenes drama at your company
- ridiculous amounts of time for internet surfing
- circumventing your company's internet blocker
- never too busy for an hour lunch
- thinking of creative ways to answer the phone
- fucking with telemarketers

things i will not miss about being a receptionist:

- non-stop telemarketers
- sorting the mail
- condescending people
- receptionist pay grade

so the new job starts monday. i have a feeling i'm going to be hitting the ground running, so the blog may have to be relegated to after-work hours, but i'm sure i will find the time to shoot off an entry or two.

now that i've officially posted this blog, just watch me get my ass fired or laid off and i start temping again. and then i'll secretly go back and delete this entry so i won't feel quite so embarrassed.

thanks devan!

devan sums it all up better than i did in my entire blog entry:

mac freak out.

hi. i'm a mac. i used to be a PC.

so last night, i had an official freakout with my new imac. i was confused, frustrated that i didn't know how to do what i wanted to do, and it was late and i was tired, and i even let that devil on my shoulder say "you should just return this thing."

i've been on PCs all my life. i have certain ways i'm used to doing things. i'm used to things working exactly how i want them to work, and if they don't, i can usually figure out the solution. with mac, i'm having to relearn how to do things and adjust my way of doing the things i've been doing for years. it's an entirely different OS and i keep trying to remind myself that there's a learning curve, but last night i let my frustration get the better of me.

bottom line, it annoyed the shit out of me that if macs are these genius amazing computers, why isn't there an easy way for me to do exactly what i want to do RIGHT NOW? i paid $2,000 for a computer that promises to change your life. (thanks aspirational marketing!) and i really just felt like my hands were tied last night.

i work with macs every day at my job, but i guess my experience at work and my experience at home are two different things. i've got all the basics down - i can navigate the office suite, the internet, ichat.. everything i'd need for work. and i can even manage itunes and my ipod.

where i hit a brick wall at home is all the music, media, and photos that i've accumulated over years. i've got a ton of stuff. mac wants me to interface with my music and media and photos in a very specific way. music, use itunes! photos, use iphoto! if that doesn't work exactly how you want it, there's no plan b.

i realize this is little knitpicky shit and i probably just need to get over myself, but i don't know... i spent a lot more money than i currently have and bought a really nice computer. i just feel like i should be THRILLED with it and not banging my head against a wall.

the solution? i think i need to sit down with a few lifelong mac people and maybe a few converts, and get them to walk me through some of my issues. there's probably things that i don't even know about.. things that could solve some of my frustrations. i recognize that i need to chill and let the learning curve happen and not allow myself to get frustrated.

i just wanted to vent. i realize i may get heat from you mac fanatics out there. i can actually hear you now.. (JUST GIVE IN TO ITUNES! IT IS A FAR SUPERIOR PROGRAM!) don't worry, i know people swear by macs for a reason. i just need someone to make me new programs that do exactly what i want and nothing else. maybe that's a little too much to ask. maybe i need to start my own new operating system.

the top five

my good friend and ichat confidante, brandi, is quite the entertaining distraction during the workday. she is in my small group of workday chatters that keep me entertained during the hours of 9am - 5pm. she was telling me about how her and the new dude she is seeing both gave each other their "top five hottest" lists.

"top five hottest" is a concept that is difficult for me. are we going strictly physical appearance? how does talent figure in? it's complicated. also, i'm always mindful of what my "top five hottest" says about me. i don't know, maybe you can chime in and tell me!

since brandi encouraged me to share mine, i am posting it here for the permanent record of the blog.

#1: BJORK

she's beautiful. she's a genius. she's also gotta be a little bit insane. plus, she's from iceland. aside from our significant age difference, i see absolutely no reason that we couldn't be soulmates.


#2: SCARLETT JOHANSSON

anything i would say here about her has already been said by everyone. gorgeous.


#3: CLAIRE FORLANI

claire forlani hasn't been in too many movies, but she absolutely kills me. she does this thing on screen where she looks like she's almost about to cry. it's her signature look. it makes me want to die inside. in the best way possible.


#4: LISA LOEB

this crush started when i was 15 and hasn't left me since. it's the glasses. MY GOD, THE GLASSES.


#5: KATE NASH

this is a recent crush that i threw in for good measure. if you sing, and you're british, and you wear cute retro thrifty clothes, sign me up for life.

new macs and new shirts!

one of the perks of having a roommate with a clothing line is that when you stay up till 2:00am playing with/setting up your new imac, you can put on a fresh new jump-off and distract everyone at work from how tired you look.



why don't you check out kenny's new flux rad summer line? that shit is going to be available before you know it, so start saving up your allowance money.



so, as i stated above.. i got a new imac.

after i found out i could save my laptop data, i hopped in the car and drove to short pump. the dudes at the apple store were super cool and totally dorky. i also got a sweet student discount. here's how it went down:

employee: are you a student?
me: *pause* um, i have a student id..
employee: *pause* hmm.. *pause* yeah, that'll work!

all in all, i saved about $200 and got a free printer.

at first i thought they were just being nice, but then i realized they must have recognized me from my world-famous blog. it's great being a internet celebrity. it's so hard always getting hooked up with free shit and being recognized in the streets.

i went home and set it up, taking a break to join sara, freddy, and casey for a nightcap at cous cous. turns out the nightcap was a mistake, because i came home and immediately continued setting up the new computer, until i realized it was 2:00am and i could barely keep my eyes open.

i'll take a picture of the new beauty and how it sits so majestically on my desk.

i am in love, what can i say?

e-card brilliance

i was trying to send an e-card to a friend today and found these two gems.

10-12 people got laid off at my company today. total bumout. but you can always cheer up the mood with:



i couldn't help but laugh at this one, as it pretty much exactly sums up my feelings on the issue:

WISHLIST!

this is a really exciting blog where i post pictures of all the things i want to buy right now, but probably can't afford.

FUN, RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!

edit: i want an actual turntable, not simply a drawing of one. but please, feel free to send me your drawings of turntables and i will post them on the blog!

weddings!

so, my good friend robin is getting married in two weeks. i have volunteered (of course) to be the wedding DJ. i'm pretty excited because robin and his fiance have amazing taste in music, and they've given me free reign over things, so it's going to be a cakewalk. plus, all my friends will be there, so it will be a great time all around.

last weekend, jenny and i went to crate and barrel to buy the wedding gift. it's always boring to get something off someone's registry, but we came up with a unique twist to our gift idea to make it a little more thoughtful and fun. i'm always torn with wedding gifts because obviously, if i was getting married and i had a registry, i'd pick stuff i wanted/needed, but it always feels so lame to go and just buy something off a list. i'd go into details here on the blog, but i don't know for sure whether or not robin reads this thing, and so i don't want to release any spoilers.

i've had weddings on the mind recently. garrett's recent engagement, schuyler and robin's upcoming weddings. these are all dudes that i played in bands with and toured with. the wedding bells keep ringing closer and closer to home.

i've always had a picture in mind of my ideal wedding. in my mind, it'd be more like a concert. i have so many talented musician friends that i'd want it to be full of music. the reception would be low-key and relaxed, and most of all, FUN. it would turn into an AMAZING dance party and there wouldn't be any "we have to be out of the room by 10pm" shit and the bride and groom won't be leaving early. in fact, we'll be the last two out on the dance floor after all the old folks go to bed.

my one single must-have for my future wedding is something that i've had in the back of my mind since my days of singing in choir in college. one of my favorite choral composers is eric whitacre. he's a young guy (comparatively to most composers) who writes the most absolutely mind-blowing choral pieces. i drove to virginia tech two years ago to see one of his workshops and the guy is a true genius.

my plan is to commission a local college choir to sing two of whitacre's pieces at the wedding. i am sure this is not going to be easy/cheap, but to me, it would be so totally worth it.

this whole entry was really an excuse to post this video of a college choir rehearsing one of the songs called "this marriage" that whitacre wrote to be performed at his own wedding. the blonde dude conducting is actually whitacre, so i'm assuming this is from one of his various college workshops.

check it out.. maybe it's only interesting to fellow former choir geeks, but i thought it was pretty impresssive. if you want to hear more whitacre stuff, his myspace has a really good selection of songs.

the ultimate nerd shirt

are you obsessed with finding wi-fi? are you always looking for that signal you can pick up while at a friend's house or at the bar?



try on the new wi-fi signal t-shirt! this shirt picks up wi-fi signals and actually lights up according to how many bars the signal has.

this is both the most amazing thing and the most dorky thing i've ever seen.

the novelty of showing up at a party/bar with this t-shirt would be priceless, but it might not be worth never getting laid again.

obama!

if i wasn't voting for barack obama before, i am now after watching this compelling video..

hahaha

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side."

- Hunter S. Thompson

things are a'changing..

hello blog friends of the world.

this weekend was totally awesome. full of birthdays, bar crawls, the river, and oversized CGI monsters. i even braved another trip out to short pump to buy a wedding present and tempting myself to buy things i officially cannot afford.

i had two interesting life developments on friday.

first off, the good news. the long-awaited promotion that was promised me when i was hired is now official. starting next monday, i will be officially transitioned over to account work and off the front desk. this is great news for me as i'll be able to dive back into challenging work, but bad news for my internet surfing habits. there will be less time to read your blogs and more time for tearing my hair out over client deadlines. i'm very excited to get back into action, so it is a definite welcome change for my life. there is a definite "trial by fire" factor when you join an account team, so i'm trying to get mentally geared up for the craziness that is about to ensue.

secondly, and maybe not as life-changing, but still a BIG DEAL... i think i'm making the switch from PC to MAC. now, it's not THAT big of a change. i have been working on a mac at work for years now, so i'm relatively comfortable with working with one. i got a call from the friendly customer service folks at hewlett-packard who informed me that my broken laptop is, in fact, NOT under warranty and i will need to pay them $732 to fix it. now, i don't know about you guys, but that price seems a bit steep to me, don't you? anyway, i told them to just send it back. my laptop wasn't in that great of shape to begin with (see: drunken 27th birthday dance party and the approximately 5-foot fall it took), so i think i'd rather put $732 towards the purchase of a new computer.

that said, if i do make the long-anticipated switch to mac, i need to make the most important decision obviously - notebook or desktop?

i'm agonizing over this because my previous life as a touring musician made a laptop absolutely necessary, but now that i'm working full-time and not hitting the road in the foreseeable future, i think i could get one of those sweet sweet iMacs, save a bunch of money in the process, and get a stronger, better, faster computer. mac's laptops, while sleek and sexy, leave a lot to be desired in two important areas - hard drive storage space and MONITOR SIZE. nothing drives me more crazy than a small screen and a cluttered desktop. to get the minimum monitor size i could live with, i'd have to upgrade to a macbook pro, already taking me well above the $2000 mark, which i don't really have to spend.

how do you ask yourself how portable you are going to need to be over the next 2 years? i have no idea! currently the only foreseeable need i have for portability stems from my interest in music. i'm djing a wedding in two weeks and will need a computer there. also, if i ever got around to writing music again, i might see a need to have a laptop to play samples and stuff. but again, with the exception of this wedding, it's all hypothetical. and if worse comes to worse, my work has a bunch of macs and i could borrow a laptop for a few days if i really needed one.

i'm leaning towards sucking it up, chaining myself to my desk, and accepting the fact that i'm just not the sitting-on-my-laptop-at-starbucks kinda dude anyway.. and getting one of those beautiful imacs.



hello, beautiful.

endless mike and the beagle club

last night i had the pleasure of watching the finest band ever to hail from johnstown, PA.. endless mike and the beagle club.

the first time i heard the band was two years ago when olympia was first touring. we booked a show in western PA and we were lucky enough to share the stage with this amazing band.

why are they so amazing?

it's hard to describe. it's like they break every single rule of being in a band, but not out of rebellion, it's as if they didn't even know there were "rules" in the first place. first off, when i saw them last night, they played as a 15-piece, featuring every musician that played on the record. as if they were getting ready to leave for tour, and decided "hey everyone, just pile in!" and literally that's what they did. it didn't matter that it was going to be uncomfortable, or hot, or more expensive. it's like that didn't even cross anyone's mind.

there's no egos or fashion. literally, everyone in the band is from completely different walks of life. they're a combination of hippie dudes and regular dudes you'd never guess were in a band if you saw them walking down the street. there's a dude who looks like he walked right out of a straight edge hardcore band (and probably did) to play banjo in this folk collective. on top of that, they're some of the friendliest people. they all go out of their way to talk to people and if you talk to them long enough, they'll tell you to move to their town so you can hang out on a regular basis. and maybe join the band! that's the kind of dudes they are.

they don't want to be famous. they don't want to be on a bigger record label. they don't care how many t-shirt designs they have on sale. they just want to play music with their friends, go on tour, and share their music and message with whoever wants to listen.

i don't know why this impresses me so much, but it does. i guess that means i'm jaded.

i'm so used to navigating the politics of the music scene and the music industry and always trying to make it to that next plateau. always trying to get that bigger tour, get our name out there, make a little more money on tour. our intentions were good - we wanted to be able to support ourselves and make music on our terms and play it for people who cared, but to do so, we had to play the game.

it's nice to see a band that says "fuck it" and isn't playing the game. they're doing everything on their own terms, going broke in the process, and not caring about it. they just sing from the heart and let the rest of it sort itself out. it's a noble thing. i don't think i could do it personally, which is why i have so much admiration for these people who actively make that choice.

so three cheers for endless mike and the beagle club.

you can listen to endless mike here: http://www.myspace.com/beagleclub

if i had to pick one song to recommend, i would ask you to listen to "mr. miller's opus". i've never heard a song that more perfectly captures the more difficult moments of the last seven years of my life.

you can buy their record here: http://www.craftyrecords.net/

happy birthday kenny

today is the birthday of my roommate and esteemed blogger colleague KENNY.

kenny and i have known each other for years, but we have only been roommates a short while. i have already learned the following:

- kenny likes watching the show "two and a half men" but tries to hide it from me
- kenny has amazing show posters and is far more qualified at frame-hanging than i am
- kenny loves chipotle as much as i do
- kenny's love for 90s pop music is unrivaled
- when dealing with our shitty landlord, kenny prefers the role of "bad cop"
- living with kenny means you get a sweet wholesale discount on american apparel goodies

so as you can see, kenny is a rad dude who deserves this birthday tribute post, along with the drinks i'm going to buy him on saturday.

he also deserves your print work - so if you print anything and want it done right for an awesome price, you should holler at his blog. he will do it up right.

more blog posts to come. this is shaping up to be a 4-5 entry day. i can feel it.

will ferrell and a hammerhead shark

it doesn't even matter what will ferrell says. he is the funniest person alive.

in this video, he is hawking his website funnyordie.com and trying to get people to participate in some contest. it doesn't even matter. it's just hilarious.



p.s. - i still hate facebook.

for mari:

hi i'm french and i cut mens hair. because i'm french, i can say insensitive things without having to provide an excuse or apologize!

oui oui! sacrebleu!

mari: i hope you have a better day, kiddo!

MATH FAIL

Noooooooooooo

All aboard the S.S. Douchebag setting sail for preppy island! J. Crew!

i don't know... am I?

i may not be sigur ros.. but you can listen to their AMAZING new album right here!

fantastic four 2: a giant pile of shit

yesterday after work, i decided to spend some quality time exploring our new cable service with comcast. not wildly impressed by comcast so far, i decided to see what was available with our free on-demand programming.

if you don't have a premium channel with your cable package, the comcast on-demand selection is pretty weak. i don't really remember all the options, but the one that jumped out at me the most was the blockbuster film GHOST DAD starring bill cosby circa 1990. gotta make sure i catch this at some point before it becomes 20 years old.


fortunately, we have HBO, which entitles us to a slightly more current selection of films to choose from. for last night's movie, i thought, hmm.. fantastic four 2. why not? i had seen all the other hero franchises - spiderman, batman, iron man, etc. why not give this one a go?


i was never a fan of the fantastic four. i always kinda felt like their powers were... well... whack. you got a guy who can stretch, and therefore reach hard-to-reach objects. a girl who can turn invisible. a dude who can light himself on fire (okay this one is actually cool). lastly, you got the guy who got the rawest end of the deal - the thing - who is basically strong, impervious to harm, and incapable of ever getting laid again because he looks like a pile of rocks.

now maybe i fucked up by not seeing the first fantastic four movie. maybe there's some context there that is necessary to make watching the sequel enjoyable. i am open to this possibility, however, i am pretty sure i would have reacted in the same way.

this movie is a cheesy awful pile of garbage.

i made it about 30 minutes in and had to bail out. i didn't even make it through the first action sequence, which is the bread and butter of superhero movies.

here's the problem: you know when you watch a superhero action movie, and there's usually one scene or two that makes you kinda cringe? it gets just a LITTLE too cheesy (see: most of spiderman 3)? well, the fantastic four was basically all of these moments put together in one continuing sequence of awfulness. and poor reed richards a.k.a. mister fantastic - there were at least 4 scenes in just the first thirty minutes where you could tell the directors were like, "fuck - we have to use his stupid useless power somehow.. throw some CGI in and make him stretch a little in this scene."


let's say i woke up tomorrow and i had stretchy powers. i would immediately think "how convenient!", but i would never think to myself "i could probably save the world with my ability to reach across the room to grab a beer!"

anyway, i'm ranting now. and that's what i do.

don't go see fantastic four 2: rise of the silver surfer.

or at least don't watch the first thirty minutes.

i don't even think jessica alba is that hot. there, i said it.

fuck you, fantastic four!

laptop blues

sending your computer off to the manufacturer to get repaired is a terrifying thing.

has anyone else done this?

i feel like i'm sending my kid off to summer camp for the first time, and i just KNOW something terrible is going to happen.

the bottom line is that HP is willing to fix my problem for free and it would cost me an arm and a leg to get it fixed in town. i'm hoping for the best, but i'm mentally preparing myself for such horrors as:

- the laptop getting lost in the mail
- HP erasing my hard drive and losing all my data (that i didn't backup ever - FAIL)
- the in-warranty service somehow being out-of-warranty and i still pay an arm and a leg
- this whole process taking 2+ weeks

also, i'm slightly embarrassed, because i use a desktop wallpaper shuffling program, and i'm like 90% confident that at the time of the crash, the wallpaper was a scantily-clad suicidegirl. what can you do? hope that the guy/girl fixing your computer has an appreciation for photography of tattoed alternative/punk pinup girls!

fuck the kids

CALLING TEENAGERS IS NOT FUN.

IF YOUR BOSS OR SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY GIVES YOU A JOB OR TASK TO COMPLETE AND IT INVOLVES CALLING TEENAGERS, QUIT YOUR JOB.

ugh.

UGH.



okay, phew.

breathe in.

so my task for the last two weeks has been to call hundreds of teenagers who entered this stupid online contest and let them know they won. what is the prize? some stupid portable personal communications device sorta like a t-mobile sidekick, except it's not as cool and no one knows what it is.

why am i calling? why didn't we e-mail? well.. we did e-mail. 3/4 of the kids didn't respond. why didn't we collect their addresses when they entered? we wanted to protect privacy. so now, i'm stuck calling all these fucking kids asking for their mailing address.

so, today's generation of teenagers, raised on the internet and victims of spam, spyware, telemarketing, and reality television... THEY THINK I AM TRYING TO SCAM THEM.

you see, when i call, their defenses are already up. they're like "who the fuck is this guy and what is he selling?" not to mention if a PARENT answers the phone, it's like that but 10 times worse, because i just called their house asking for their child in junior high.

so anyway, i have to FIGHT to convince some kid to let me send him a stupid electronic device that is worth $299, that at a bare minimum he could throw up on ebay and turn a sweet $200 profit at least.

i have made like 200 calls. there are 200 left to go.

it's just not worth it.

damn you, kids of america.

damn you all.

a very missed connection

craigslist "missed connections" in richmond is a daily read for me. first off, it can be hilarious, and then of course, everyone wants to find themselves or a friend listed within.

today i found this one:


it first grabbed my attention because, like me, someone broke all the bones in their face. total bummer.

but then i re-read it and read that THE DUDE IS IN A COMA. what is the point of this missed connection if the person it's meant for is literally unable to check craigslist, let alone wake up.

c'mon people. start blogs if you want to rage. or at least make sure the recipient of your missed connection could actually potentially receive it in some way.

/end rant

scary robot baby

i don't have speakers on my laptop, so maybe this video isn't scary at all with sound.

but when i watched this video on mute, it made me want to curl up in a ball and hide.

"fuck you" vs. "fuck yeah"

i would like to send out a big "fuck you" to the following:

- my laptop which arbitrarily decided to no longer boot up, requiring me to put it in a box and mail it to Hewlett Packard.
- Hewlett Packard for making shitty laptops.. and a bigger fuck you in advance because i know you'll take half a month to fix my laptop.
- my shitty verizon cellphone for not getting any service in my new apartment
- 100 degree heat outside. fuck you, summer!
- our landlord for still not having things fixed in our apartment
- the person who invented wiring the jaw shut

i would like to send out a big "fuck yeah!" to the following:

- the inventor of big gulps
- air-conditioning
- steve jobs who is going to announce the new 3G iphone tomorrow (and more importantly where and when i can buy it)
- brunch
- grand theft auto four

boredom

this day is dragging so much.

if i was any more bored, i'd slip into a coma.

the good news is.. my co-worker is sending me videos of dogs acting out scenes in classic motion pictures.

pardon me while i stab myself with a pen.

thursday vs. ebay

so, rewind five years ago to 2003. fresh out of college, i got a dream job working for universal music in the washington dc branch. i was convinced i had a long career ahead of me working in the music industry. funny how things change, right? i quit that job to record an album with brand new disaster and go on tour and the rest is history.

at the time, one of my favorite bands was thursday. out of all the bands i listened to at the time, they were the first to reach some degree of mainstream success. they signed with island records (unheard of at the time) in 2002 and i was excited that, through my job, i was going to play a role in helping one of my favorite bands.

i got a chance to meet them at an acoustic in-store in philadelphia. i was unbelievably nervous and young and kinda silly about the whole thing, but it meant a lot to me. i had a brief conversation about my aspirations in music with the singer, geoff, and he was really encouraging and friendly about the whole thing. i was so excited that i had talked to this dude who i considered to be somewhat of a hero of mine. he was really encouraging and friendly and told me to pursue music. looking back, it was a big catalyst to get me to quit the job and pursue music full-time.

i always took that experience with me as i continued along my path in music. once i had been in bands for a few years and talked to a lot of kids in the same way geoff talked to me, i realized that geoff was just a dude in a band and probably felt the same way i did. but for a bunch of kids, he was totally inspiring. i made sure that whenever a kid wanted to talk at a show, i would go out of my way to be friendly and encouraging in the same way that geoff had been to me, on the off chance that it might have the same kind of impact that my conversation once had.

anyway, the guy who orchestrated my trip to philly and meeting the band was this dude named todd, who was the island records rep at my office. he was a completely solid dude and was one of my favorite co-workers. almost two years after leaving universal, i got a surprise package in the mail from todd. it was this giant 8 ft. x 8 ft. thursday banner from the in-store we went to that day. i'm sure as tower records closed, they were getting rid of all that stuff and todd got hold of it somehow. i was really impressed that he had remembered! it was a really thoughtful gift.

by that point, my love for thursday had kind of diminished. still liked the band, and still listened to them regularly, but i didn't have quite the love for them that 2003 phil had. at least not the level of love that required hanging a gigantic banner in my house. so it stayed in a box. every time i'd move, i'd rediscover this gigantic banner and kick myself for not doing something with it.

when i discovered it again this time, moving into the new apartment, i promised myself i would find a way to get it to a thursday fan that would be able to do something awesome with it. i posted it on ebay and then posted about it on a few thursday messageboards. i've never sold anything on ebay before, so this was a totally new experience for me. i've already got 9 bids and the thing is up to $40 which is right about where i was hoping it would sell for. it's still got a few more days left, so things could get crazy.. who knows, i might get way more than i was expecting!

it's a little sad to sell the thing off, but it's even more sad to keep it in a box when it could be someone's favorite piece of memorabilia.

the original purpose of this post was to talk about how fucking awesome it was that i figured out how to sell shit on ebay, but i guess i dropped some nostalgia all over it and now i don't know what the hell to make of this post. if you've made it this far, feel free to leave me a comment telling me that i've wasted a good five minutes of your time.

new sticker for my bike

photographic evidence

so about a week ago i made a post about all the things about my face that i'm not happy with during this long healing process.

i decided to document my face in photos - to show that i'm really just blowing things out of proportion and my face looks just fine.

1. my black eyes: as you can see, my black eyes from where they made the incision are barely noticeable anymore.


2. my jaw wires: clearly i'm overreacting about my jaw wires, because they are barely even visible in this picture and my teeth look totally normal.


3. my lip scar: my lip is healing up GREAT and you can't even see it anymore really.


okay, so obviously i'm joking around. i just thought i'd poke a little fun at myself for being all melodramatic earlier.

the fact is, my face is healing up really well. even since my last post, the black eyes have diminished even more and my lip scar is getting less and less noticeable. once my jaw wires are off, i think i'll be totally back to normal.

and just for those who are curious, this is really what i look like right now:

things i have spent too much money on

i think any time you move into a new place, you tend to find yourself spending massive amounts of money getting all the odds and ends that you need to settle in. money you never think to plan ahead on spending. things like cleaning supplies, shower curtain holders, boxes of kleenex, and everything else under the sun.

i have been doing that and more. thank god for credit cards and impulsive decision making!

the worst offender: $350


and of course: $60


then i had to store all my dvds somehow (and future xbox games!): $83


then i needed to POWER all this new technology obviously: $20


then i had all kinds of trash and cardboard from all this new shit i bought: $15


then i decided the walls were starting to look pretty empty: $25


and of course, i am gonna have to frame it: $20


phew. moving is expensive. and i need to get a second job to pay off all this shit.