oh my god.

who needs a snuggie when you can get one of THESE?



i can't stop laughing about how awesome i would look in this wearable sleeping bag. please buy me one immediately, mom.

thanks to karen.

dance party friday! the contest!

i started a dance party friday competition at my work.

people submitted videos!

so stoked!


Dance Party Friday from Phil Williams on Vimeo.

phil collins dance party / marshmallow roast 2k9

i don't even need to explain this evening to you.

you should know from the title of the post just how amazing it truly was.

can you still feel the butterflies?

so amazing. this is from the DC show.

yankee gal.

Yankee Gal from Yankee Team on Vimeo.

i'm exhausted.

i was going to write a big long blog, but in the interest of self-preservation, i have decided instead to go to bed before 11:00pm in an effort to save my body from destroying itself.

last night's concert had me up till 2:30am and i'm just dead tired.

so, for those who wondered, the jimmy eat world concert was fucking FANTASTIC. it was exactly what i had hoped for and more. from the first chords of "lucky denver mint" all the way to "goodbye sky harbor", i don't think i stopped singing for a second. for fans of that record who feared how they were going to pull off the extended ending at the end of the record, i have to say ... it was done so perfectly. jim adkins put down his guitar at the end and had all these loop pedals. he kept layering his vocals down until there was that entire chorus of alternating voices just like on the album. i was so totally impressed.

i drove home with chris, who opted to join me and keep me company on the drive home. we had an amazing conversation. he admitted to reading my blog on the regular. hi, chris. more importantly, we had a really long talk about life and how we both struggled to find things to be passionate about as we get older. when we were younger and in a band together, it was so easy to pour our lives into our music. i think we both thought that when we started working and our careers that we'd get more fulfillment/meaning out of it. i think we've both come to realize that even a fun job is still a job and that you have to go elsewhere to really find your passions.

anyway, we both agreed that at a bare minimum, we can be more passionate about making plans to hang out more often. CHRIS, CALL A DUDE.

i got home, decompressed, and ended up falling asleep at 2:30am.

i woke up for work today exhausted, but feeling okay. the workday did it's best to try and knock me down, but i'm staying on top of things. or trying to at least. each day i feel like i'm getting more and more of a handle on the changes and my new roles. i just have to keep at it. the transition itself is the hardest part. my old team hesitant to relinquish responsibilities and my new team anxious to get me started means twice the workload.

i took a nice little break from work at 3:30 to get.... a ROOT CANAL! yaaaaaah! ever since the accident, i feel it's been a total dental free-for-all. hopefully this last thing will fix the pain/issues and i'll be able to eat normally finally.

after the root canal, i went back to work because i'm a glutton for punishment. finished up around 7:00, got home and decrompressed for a few minutes and then it was onto watching LOST.

and now i'm here. back to bed. in 8 hours i'll be awake again and repeating the process, minus the root canal.

ugh.

at least i won't be exhausted.

turns out this blog was a little longer than i planned, but it's still before 11:00 at least. off to bed! goodnight!

i have so much to blog about.

but i just don't have the time. expect a more thorough life update perhaps later tonight.

in the meantime, i was very surprised to find this clip from an interview with bjork from back in the day when we were dating.

yes, i know.. a lot of people don't know this about me, but bjork and i had a brief fling in the mid-90s. i was just a teenager and she was a grown icelandic elf princess, but it was love.

she was a little shy about admitting it, which is why you haven't heard anything about it in the press, but it's definitely about me:



crazy, huh?

oh my god oh my god oh my god

TONIGHT!



i think i'm more excited about this show than i was the first time i ever touched a boob.

#1 reason to leave richmond

vampires.

i don't think much about vampires at all, but i'm not sure i feel comfortable living among them here in richmond.

first, i read marisa's blog about THIS SCARY SHIT.

then i see this on missed connections today:



the only vampire i do like is bill compton from true blood. but i think that's only because he fought in the civil war.



yikes!

weekend recap.

this weekend was pretty tame, but it was good nonetheless. after the crazy stressful week i had, it was nice just to not be at work and to have a few days to not think about all the crazy shit going on.

friday we started the night out with a little rock band and headed off to cous cous. we made a half-hearted attempt to stop by the dance party at 534, but saw the line and thought better of it. standing in artificially-created lines intended to build hype for a dance party with a bunch of 19-year-olds was not on the top of my list of things to do. at cous cous, it was pretty chill. i spent most of the night catching up with my good friend nick miller who has moved to richmond recently. i knew him years ago from my touring life and it was great to catch up and welcome an awesome dude into an awesome town.

saturday was pretty chill. i spent most of the day relaxing and catching up on things i'd been meaning to do. later in the afternoon i was hit by a moment of sheer brilliance. bill had just finished setting up the grill he brought down from his parents house and we were talking about the recent $1.00 vinyl gold he found at a thrift store - two amazing phil collins records. combining the two, i decided that we needed to have a phil collins dance party / marshmallow roast. we bought all the stuff to make s'mores and proceeded to dance the night away while roasting delicious marshmallows. it was truly inspired. i took a bunch of photos, but i'll have to post them when i get back down to richmond.

last night i drove up to DC for the kathleen edwards show last night. it was truly amazing. she has such an incredible voice and stage presence. it was also great getting to spend time with my family. clayton's girlfriend leah was present which always seems to make us behave a little better in general. clayton bought us tickets to the concert as our christmas present. he also stood outside in the bitter cold all afternoon to secure us, quite possibly, the best seats in the house. we had a great view of the stage. it was a great time all around and i'm really glad i went.

so that brings us to today. i woke up early to take my car into the shop. my check engine light came on during the drive up here, plus i already needed to get some scheduled maintenance done. it's never easier to get your car fixed when there's a mom available to help shuttle you back and forth. i'm now working from home and even though it feels a little weird to be working at my parent's house, it seems to be going well so far this morning.

the best part of my day is going to be my lunch break where i plan on walking over to my bed and taking the most epic nap possible.

not to mention i think my mom is probably going to make lunch which is a perk of epic magnitude.

that's it from me! here's hoping this week is significantly better than last week.

kathleen edwards.

i'm driving up to DC tomorrow to see kathleen edwards with my family.

my brother got tickets for the entire family for christmas. i can't say for certain, but i'm pretty sure this is the only time in my life when my entire family is going to be attending a music performance that wasn't a broadway musical of some kind.

needless to say, i'm really excited. she writes amazing sad perfect songs.

why i hate gchat and love ichat.

here is the fundamental difference between ichat and gchat and something that aggravates me to no end.

hey! you've got an ichat:

(woooop!)

hey! you've got a gchat:

BONK!

it's friday.

it's friday. and i want to dance.

and so does this guy:


BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

thanks to kenya!

it's that time of year.

it's time to talk about girl scout cookies.

the roommates and i had a heated discussion on the merits of various girl scout cookie flavors.

the hierarchy of flavors, in my mind, are as follows:

1. samoas
2. do-si-dos
3. thin mints
4. tagalongs
5. all other flavors of girl scout cookie
6. no cookies at all
7. vomit-flavored cookies
8. broken glass cookies
9. poison cookies
10. trefoils

whoever invented the trefoil was a total asshole.



first off, just look at these girl scouts fucking LAUGHING at you for buying such a shitty cookie.

anyway, here's why i hate it. moms always buy the girl scout cookies and get a variety of flavors and it doesn't matter what combination of flavors they get, somehow there's always ONE box of trefoils ordered.

and of course, when the cookies arrive, no one gives a shit about the trefoils and all the other far more delicious cookies get devoured first. that always leaves the sad little box of trefoils at the end. and you're like.. well, fuck. there's no OTHER cookies left. might as well eat these piece-of-shit boring slabs of lameness. it's like eating pure sugar-flavored boredom.

so it's not the cookies themselves necessarily, it's what they represent. they represent the end. you've already wolfed down all the amazing cookies and now, you glutton, you're left with nothing but this disappointing boring cookie you probably could have made yourself with some dough and a little sugar. you could make a more exciting cookie blindfolded.

so, if in your hierarchy of girl scout cookies, you rank the trefoils in your top three, consider our friendship hereby terminated. i can't have any of you boring cookie-eaters getting in my way of having an awesome time. but who are we kidding? if you like trefoils, you're probably too boring to read blogs on the internet. instead you're sitting alone in your room with your cats reading a D.H. lawrence novel or knitting long johns or something.

let's just leave it at this:

if i see you eating a trefoil, i will punch you in the goddamn mouth.

WATCH THE FUCK OUT.

intensity recap.

okay.

fuck. i made it.

so, two really intense things happened today. one i can talk about, and one i can't talk about.

first thing's first. intense thing #1 that i can't really talk about on here. it went better than expected. i was over-prepared and everything went much better than i ever thought it would. so THANK GOD for that. i still won't know how things are going to turn out for possibly months, but at least my role in it is over for the time being.

the second thing which i CAN talk about is my job.

and the good news is that i got to keep mine.



a lot of people i am close friends with, people who i not only value on a personal level, but really thought highly of their work as well, got let go today. all in all, there were about 10 people laid off today. including my boss.

this was upsetting on a lot of levels. first because i have really come to value my relationship with my boss. she had really taken me under her wing and taught me a lot of important things since i joined the team. second because it throws my entire job into a tailspin.

basically now i am being completely phased out of the team i'm currently on and transitioned over to a new team with different people and clients. the relationships i've formed with my teammates, my clients, and all the progress i felt i'd been making on the team are stopping dead in their tracks more or less in the next week or so.

i'm not very excited about the new teams or the new work. my experience so far is that it's mostly administrative work. updating databases, sending form e-mails, keeping tabs on a bunch of moving pieces, but no real analytical thinking or opportunities to really show what i'm capable of.

on top of all this, we were also told we're getting a paycut. i don't make a lot of money to begin with. it's going to have a very significant impact on my life.

i know i'm bitching here. i'm not happy. i put a lot of faith in this company as being the starting point for my career and i just see things going down a path that make me feel like i'm only going to spin wheels.

i am grateful i still have a job while some of my close colleagues do not. i don't mean to sound ungrateful. i just wish circumstances were different across the board for everybody.

what can i say? times are tough.

posi-blogging

okay, sorry dudes.

this blog has gotten way too fucking melodramatic around here. we're putting a stop to that shit.

at least for the time being.

let's lighten it up with my latest endeavor. PROJECT ROBOT!



i've decided to have a little fun on facebook.

for the next week or so, all my status updates will reference the building of a robot. i will be posting new updates daily on my progress.

i am not actually building a robot, but my goal is to see how many "are you REALLY building a robot?!" type comments i can generate from my long lost now-married jr. high friends and co-workers.

feel free to participate by sending words of encouragement or robot-building tips.

PROJECT ROBOT!

intense.

tomorrow is a big day.

due to sheer luck/chance/whatever, it just so happens that multiple things are occurring tomorrow that will have a direct and significant impact on the next 3-5 years of my life.

i have no idea how any of them will turn out.

wish me luck.

sad.

hey phil, why the long face?



i have made the decision to end the long beard experiment early. starting tomorrow, the beard will be returning to its normal length.

i have an important meeting coming up where i need to look conservative/presentable and well, the beard just isn't going to cut it.

i started growing the beard out as a symbol or a protest of some kind and i'm not sure i like what it was all about anyway. so, we're going back to normal beard length and i am sure i will be infinitely less creepy when you see me out and about.

in non-beard news, i can say with 98% certainty that this week is going to be pretty fucking terrible all around. i just have to hold fast, hang tight, and survive.

here goes nothing.

pimp my ride

YO DAWG! WE HEARD YOU LIKE SKELETONS, VIKINGS, AND DRAGONS SO WE PUT A VIKING SKELETON FIGHTING A SKELETON DRAGON ON YOUR CAR!



(as seen on the corner of 7th st. and main st. in richmond)

"internets"

phil: alright, i'm going to go upstairs and check my internets before we leave.

mom: internets? there's more than one?

phil: just one, mom.

mom: okay, i was just making sure.

phil: ......

happy valentine's day blogworld!

QUIT THE INTERNET.

HAHA! YEAH, RIGHT!

YEAH RIGHT YOU GUYS!

...


.... you guys?


hello?

it's dance party friday!!!

joaquin phoenix

i posted the video of joaquin phoenix below to illustrate a very important point.

a beard, when used properly, can be a beautiful thing.

but a beard can also be used for evil. any time an object of great magical power is used, it can affect the user.

see, for example, frodo's ring from lord of the rings. the ring is all-powerful and has the power to change the wearer.

this also applies to beards. it's clear, by the video below, that joaquin is growing a creepy weirdo beard, and as such, is turning into a creepy weirdo.

i take utmost care everyday to send positive energy to my beard and make sure it gets all the nutrients and vitamins it needs. that way, as my beard grows bigger, i will harness its power for good and not let the unruliness take over.

it's a delicate balance. not meant for amateurs.

to my bearded friends, be careful with your beards. don't let the power of the beard take over your life. you are the owner of the beard, not the other way around. we are men, but we are also BEARDED men.

hold fast, brothers.

i'm on a boat.

maybe you've seen this. you probably have.

but just in case...



the first time i watched it, i didn't laugh all that hard. but then it got stuck in my head later and now i think it's hilarious.

yeah, i never thought i'd be on a boat
hit the big blue water and roll
posideon, look at me

big beards can transform a man.

bad day.

today has been fucked from the get-go.

it all started last night when i was told i had to check my e-mail late into the evening to review some creative that needed to get approved.

the creative arrived at like 8:55pm. lost came on at 9:00pm. i did what any 28-year-old bearded underpaid LOST fan would do. i rushed through it and didn't find any mistakes. three other people had reviewed it before me and one more was reviewing after me, so i figured i was totally safe.

the person after me uncovered that we had built the files from a previous version and tons of shit was wrong.

WHOOOPS. now i'm an idiot.

granted, there were three other people before me that could/should have caught it, but i feel mostly responsible.

truth is, it's been hard to focus in my job lately because i'm being spread so thin. i'm now on FOUR client teams and i have different supervisors for each team, none of which seem to have any clue what i'm doing elsewhere. a recipe for getting yourself spread too thin, if you ask me.

anyway, my boss hasn't logged on yet, so i'm waiting for that inevitable lecture about how we're supposed to catch these things and how i fucked up. i got that awful nervous feeling in my stomach too. love it.

on top of all this, i think we're about to get even more bad financial news in the coming weeks - so if i manage to survive the inevitable layoff (hard to know what my odds are here), it just means that i'm going to get spread even more thin.

my job is quickly turning from something i really enjoyed and got excited about to something that is bumming me out for 9-10 hours a day.

at least it's almost friday which is almost the 3-day weekend. if i can survive the next two days, i can survive anything.

oh. my. god.

this made me laugh so hard i started crying at my desk.

this is so relevant to my life, it's not even funny.

fuck you, recession.

i'm ready for you.

i say bring it on.

forgetting.

this picture is depressing.

i remember a time where i could remember with complete clarity every show brand new disaster had played, what bands we'd played with, random stories from the show.

now it's mostly blurry. i remember stories and names of the towns we played, but so much of it has already been forgotten.

i wish i'd written more down back then.

reason #1003 to own an iphone

"oregon trail" will soon be coming to the iphone as an app according to the l.a. times:

Oregon Trail, the computer game that practically raised a generation of American youth thanks to its availability in grade-school computer labs, appears to be making a return on the iPhone.

Video game website IGN today posted a handful of screen shots of the game -- and little else. No info. No release date. Nothing.

The graphics appear very similar to developer Gameloft's other mobile versions of the game (the company hasn't responded to our request for more details). The new Oregon Trail has a cartoonish look, which should lighten the all-too-common situations in which your wagon loses a wheel and your mates are infected with cholera.

so stoked.

cat vs. printer

this is why i love cats.

they see something they don't understand... and their first instinct it to destroy it.



gotta love the bonus sound effects.

mmmmmmmmm...

i'm gonna act like eating this looks gross, but really deep down, it's the most exciting thing i can think of.

thanks to thisiswhyyourefat.com.

the URL hits a little close to home though.

kanye's got a posse

it's gotta be tough being in kanye west's entourage.



i don't really have anything else to say on this topic. i'm just saying i feel like it would be tough.

for many reasons.

museum of the confederacy

on sunday afternoon, sara and i headed out for an exciting daytrip to the museum of the confederacy right here in downtown richmond.

a lot of people don't know about this museum because it's literally HIDDEN.

jammed between four large hospital buildings, the museum and the white house of the confederacy feel a little dwarfed and insignificant in comparison, but once inside i was definitely very impressed.

i'm always intrigued by civil war history, because it's definitely still a politically-charged piece of history. the battle over displaying the rebel flag and civil rights history all have roots in what happened during the civil war. i was curious to see how a museum devoted specifically to the confederacy would handle defending itself to a 21st century audience.

overall, it wasn't much different than i expected. where the museum really shined was in its artifacts. i was amazed at what kind of items they had on display. i guess as one of the only museums designated solely to the confederacy, they had their pick of top-notch artifacts from confederate generals. it was amazing to see the coats, uniforms, boots, and belongings from some of these infamous men. robert e. lee and stonewall jackson both had a lot of items. there was even a blood-spattered handkerchief used when stonewall jackson was famously injured and then later died.

one of my favorite pieces was a reproduction of a letter written by a wounded soldier during the battle of wilderness. he was mortally wounded and spent his last minutes writing a letter to his family. really powerful stuff.

sara and i got off to a late start, so we didn't have a lot of time in the museum. we had to make sure to spend a good 15 minutes in the gift shop. i got some badass civil war general postcards and sara picked up a book and a totally sweet fridge magnet. i tried on the traditional kepi hats, but of course, none of them fit my gigantic head. one more reason i may never get to live out my fantasy of being a civil war reenactor.

the confederate whitehouse itself was closed, so another trip is definitely in order if only to check out the whitehouse.

all in all, it was a totally cool way to spend a sunday afternoon. the weather was gorgeous, so i feel slightly guilty not doing an outdoor activity, but i spent most of saturday outside, so i felt like i made up for it.

style dudes!

i know most of the readers here come for men's fashion tips.

two of richmond's style impresarios made appearances in my life this week.

on thursday, we went to brett's house for BYOT night. for those who don't know, BYOT stands for BRING YOUR OWN TOPPINGS. and oh my god, it ruled. brett turned our grocery bag filled with prosciutto, sun dried tomatoes, pepperoni, and red peppers into a gourmet masterpiece. we ate so many pizzas and they were amazingly fancy. i think brett should open up a gourmet pizza shop.


back to the style topic, here we see brett rocking a black cardigan with a "frightened rabbit" t-shirt. please note that his t-shirt matches the color of the kitchen cabinets, which i'm sure he planned. here he studies a cookbook (or maybe just a regular book) and looks quite intelligent.



last night bennett came over. i think he looks like quite the ladykiller in his yellow cowboy shirt and jeans, but i think the most crucial element of his look is the big beard with the slicked back hair. it's a hit, for sure. if i could pull the slicked back hair look off, i would do this. however, i have a giant head. not good.



the roommate kenneth had his 80s skateboarding night on friday. i don't have a picture of his outfit, but he looked pretty damn fly too.

richmond ladies, take heed. stylish dudes!

things to do on a friday night.

leave the bar early.

come home and watch boy sets fire videos on youtube.

and remember when you gave a shit.

david vs. christian bale

"david after the dentist" vs. "christian bale freak out"



I LOVE THE INTERNET!

giraffes hate math and so do i.

totally michael.

i know i've been posting only about music lately.

but this is important.

sunday night at rumors one of my all-time favorite musicians, TOTALLY MICHAEL, is playing a totally sweet show. he's on tour with japanther and i've heard they're pretty good too.

but seriously dude, TOTALLY MICHAEL.



OH MY GOD THERE'S MORE VIDEOS!

BONUS: THEY ARE ALL REALLY FUNNY!

SUPERWOLF.

oh man oh man oh man.

i forgot how good this record was. it's been at least a year since i last played it.

bonnie 'prince' billy and matthew sweeney. great songs. awesome harmonies. sweet guitar licks.

i would suggest playing this album right around sunset on a cross-country roadtrip when you are somewhere in the midwest - preferably kansas or nebraska. as it gets darker, the album will mellow out and you'll start to get tired. the track "bed is for sleeping" should hit right about when you find a hotel and then you're good to go.

or... you can listen to it at your desk at work. not as exciting, but it will do in a pinch.

EDIT: Found a video! WARNING: THIS SONG IS INTENSELY SAD. (and disturbing)

ida.

i've been on such an ida kick lately.

i've been on some kind of an ida kick for about 6 years now, but it's been way strong lately.

i love them so freaking much. i can easily say hands down they are my favorite band, tied with low. i think those two bands share the top spot because they're just the yin and yang versions of the same band. low is the dark evil twin and ida is the hopeful twin.

the similarities between low and ida are many, but the best one is that they both center around a married couple that writes amazing music together. THAT is something i can get behind. the girl i marry is going to have to indulge me and write music with me. i don't even care if she can't sing very well or can't play an instrument, because it will be the most fun thing regardless.

i wish there were more ida videos on the internet so i could share their magic with you a little better.

look at the love between david and elizabeth in the first few seconds of the video. it kills me. so great.


Ida - "Honeyslide" from ida on Vimeo.

productivity!

howdy y'all!

i have had a TOTALLY PRODUCTIVE morning.

ever have one of those days where you're just killing it right from the start?

so far today i've:

- coordinated shipping things to iowa, arizona, and louisiana, and oddly enough, richmond va.

- entered a bunch of estimates into our finance system (SUPER FUN!)

- wrote and sent a beautiful estimate for a shipper display (i estimated $5400 fyi)

this may not sound exciting to you. that's because it's not. it's not really exciting to me. but it is exciting to cross items off the daily to-do list.

the rest of the day is shaping up to be busy, but i plan on keeping sane by going to subway, eating fresh, and getting a power-up diet fountain beverage to keep me moving through the afternoon.

i am not making any promises, but if i make it to the gym tonight, i might award myself a gold star.

update.

things are getting a little bit intense here in beard country.



i had a really good day today. the past couple weeks have been rough, but i can't help but feel like things are going to get better.

especially with this giant beard!

david after the dentist.

so apparently david had a dental procedure and had to get drugged up. david is seven years old. david's dad has a camcorder. the results are magical.

sometimes after a long night of drinking, i feel like david.

$$$$

craigslist gold.

today we post a craigslist missed connections from someone who should stop drinking:

To the girl I threw beer bottles at in Cha Cha's - w4w

YIKES!

superbowl: a review.

the game: 4 out of 5 stars

i didn't care about either team, but i was rooting for the superbowl itself. i like when games are close and people get emotional and scream at the TV. i definitely screamed at the TV a few times. i like when games have a lot of turnovers and crazy shit going on, and this definitely exceeded my superbowl expectations.

ben roethlisburger: 3 out of 5 stars

sometimes at just the right angle, under his helmet, i think the steelers quarterback looks like will ferrel. i laugh to myself every time i see this.

the snacks: 5 out of 5 stars

i went to kc and adam's house and they made wings, pigs in a blanket, and little steak sandwiches. there were a plethora of chips, dips, and vegetables. bill made his signature macaroni and cheese. i was well-pleased. delicious.

the commercials: 1 out of 5 stars

maybe this makes me a heartless person, but i don't give a flying fuck about the budweister clydesdale. every time i saw it, it made me hate horses AND budweiser a little more. and i like horses generally. my heartstrings were not tugged in these shabby overdone piece-of-shit commercials. NOTE TO BUDWEISER: STOP ANTHROPOMORPHIZING HORSES TO SELL BEER.

the one shining star of the superbowl, careerbuilder.com, encouraged me to punch a koala bear, which i absolutely loved.



3-D technology: 1 out of 5 stars

it was fun to look ridiculous for a few minutes with all my friends during the superbowl, but the actual 3-D effects were seriously whack. i think i'm going to have to miss the 3-D version of chuck that i was already planning on not watching.

the fact that i had work the next day: 0 out of 5 stars

i managed to forget that it was sunday and i had work in a few hours until right about midnight. the dread set in later than usual, keeping me awake longer than i wanted to, gave me horrible nightmares, and i woke up this morning feeling non-refreshed, still somewhat sick, and just kinda sad. YAY MONDAY!

to summarize..

that's my review. all in all, a great superbowl. i give it a grand total of 3 out of 5 stars. see you next year!

what's better than the superbowl?

WATCHING 3D COMMERCIALS! OMG WTF!

labyrinth.

it took bill and i about five minutes to remember this david bowie song from this scene in "labyrinth".

and once we did, we sang it loudly for another 5 minutes at the bar.

i'm sure everyone thought we were awesome.